NovelEnglishChapter Forty-Eight
Ryley
After what happened yesterday, the feelings of self-doubt have been bubbling to the surface. The idea I couldn’t protect the boys
weighed heavily on my heart. I’ve always been able to protect Channing because we were never involved with other wolves but
now things have changed. I underestimated the hate wolves have for outsiders. And even though I’ve known Chris for years
through Walter, I was still an outsider. At least in the human city, no one knew I was different.
The drive home was quiet and I was relieved when Blake finally pulled up outside the house. I needed to get out of this vehicle.
Blake was smelling too good and if the boys didn’t interrupt earlier, I’m not sure what I would have done. There’s something
about him, I can’t shake. I want to be able to trust him but the idea scares me to death. No matter how much my heart cries out
for him, my logic is saying no.
I was just about to open my door and climb out when Aspen leaned forward, in between the two front seats.
“Dad, I want Channing and Ryley to come to dinner with us tomorrow. I’ve been telling Grandma all about them and she wants to
meet them.” He told his dad. Blake just looked at me.
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“He asked me earlier but I told him it was up to you seeing it’s your parents.” I shrugged. I didn’t want to impose or overstep.
“We will be having dinner in the pack house around seven tomorrow evening, if you would like to join us?” He asked me.
“Only if you are sure,” I told him. We stared at each other and I could
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feel the boy’s eyes on us. The tension started to build before Blake finally answered.
“Okay,” I nodded before getting out of the vehicle. I needed a moment to breathe. I can’t believe I agreed to meet his parents.
Even if it’s just as his son’s best friend’s mom.
The boys grabbed most of the stuff from the back before heading into the house. I watched as they both went in like they owned
the place.
“I think Aspen is spending the night,” I said, shaking my head.
“Is that okay? If not I can tell him to get his a*s home,” Blake chuckled.
“It’s fine, really. I enjoy having him around. As long as it’s okay with you. I know you said that nothing has changed but,” I couldn’t
finish, guilt twisted my stomach painfully. Aspen was all Blake had left of his mate and I could have gotten him hurt or worse
killed.
Blake grabbed my hand and spun me in against his chest before resting his hands on my hips. His smell was intoxicating as I
looked up into his amber eyes. No one has ever had this hold on me, not even Channing’s father.
“Ryley, you have no reason to feel guilty. Aspen has been trained without a wolf and he has been trained with Gunner. He could
have handled himself. Like I’m sure Channing would have. Thank you for protecting him and making sure he was safe. I trust
that you will always take care of him,” Blake said, and tears p**cked my eyes.
“Now, go get some rest.” He kissed my forehead before he let me go. I watched him walk toward the pack house, wishing he
would have stayed. But not having the guts to admit it out loud.
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“What the hell is wrong with me?” I breathed out when he was out of sight.
“You love him,” Lily purred and I groaned.
“Or you can leave the boys here and let me pounce on the alpha. It’s a win-win,” she continued, ignoring me.
“Will you stop?” I exclaimed. The boys were watching tv in the living room, while I made my way up the stairs to my room. I
needed a bath and a book.
“Mom, can we order pizza?” Channing called out from downstairs.
“That’s fine, sweetie,” I yelled back.
“Do you want anything?”
“I’m okay. I’m just going to have a bath and then go to bed.” I called back before walking through my room to the bathroom to
start the water. While the tub was filling up, I walked back into my bedroom to get the book I was reading.
When did my life become so complicated? I thought to myself as I went back into the bathroom and stripped off my clothes. I
climbed into the steaming hot water, finally feeling like I can relax.
“It’s only complicated because you are making it so. We could join this pack and be the Luna we were always meant to be. Blake
will protect us from our mate. And if the ba**ard is smart, he won’t challenge him.” Lily said.
“He has already claimed another, Lily. He wouldn’t be able to
challenge Blake. But how do you know Blake even wants me? And all .
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the b****hit I bring. It’s not fair to him.” I sighed.
“You can always tell him the truth about everything and let him make that choice. He wants you, Ryley. Who wouldn’t? And you
deserve to be happy.”
“Lily, we come with a lot of baggage. And Blake has enough to worry about with Aspen and his pack. I don’t want to be a burden
and I also don’t want to relive the past. I don’t want his pity.” I told her. She whimpered before retreating to the back of my mind.
I wish I wasn’t broken. I wish I could trust my heart. If I was stronger I would be able to have Blake and not fear rejection. If I told
him my story and he rejected me, it would be like my mate all over again. And my heart isn’t strong enough. So, I will put my
heart back in the box I have built and throw away the key to keep it safe.
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